Embarking on your university journey is akin to setting foot in a realm of endless possibilities. Anticipating new experiences, confronting uncertainties (some cool and some downright confusing) and all of them leading to potential friendships. Uni is not all about the tutorials, textbooks, and constant studying, it’s an array of unique individuals and stories.
Bear with me as I spill the beans on how I approached the friend-making scene at uni and what I’ve learned about weaving threads of connection during my academic journey.
Connecting in class
The shared experience of dealing with difficult coursework can serve as a powerful foundation for forging connections. You might find that your struggles and victories resonate with your peers. Talking to peers in your class can feel daunting but people aren’t as scary as they look. The person next to you has possibly been trying to work up the courage to start a conversation too.
In my personal experience, I have learned that striking up a conversation in class with a mate or a sibling in a group setting is the easiest way for me to start a chat. However, I struggle to maintain conversation over a long period and really connecting with others is quite a challenge for me.
Navigating the unconventional
Stepping outside your comfort zone doesn’t necessarily mean extreme endeavours. It could be as simple as trying out an unfamiliar activity or attending an unconventional event. Saying “yes” to a couple of uni events not only pushed past my boundaries but opened the doors to unexpected friendships.
I learned that it’s OK to not constantly talk or say something, but being honest and being yourself is the best way to go about it. For example, I tried to do certain things to appease others or to get people to like me back in high school and in the early days of my time at uni. It’s good to be friendly and respectful to others, but genuine friendships don’t come from changing yourself. Instead, maintain your personal interests, whether it is video games, art, or sports, and just embrace those embarrassing moments. Get creative with the social situation.
My personal journey
In my personal life, it was hard to make new connections. Going into uni was tricky, as I was quite anxious. I had friends before going to uni as well, but because they were doing different degrees, I felt isolated. On top of that, holding a conversation was hard because of my tendency to overthink. So, if I could give three points of advice to anyone, it would boil down to these:
- Find a group that shares common interests.
- Just say “Hi”
- This is the most important point. Don’t overthink things. 99% of people don’t even notice your “mistakes” that you make in your conversations or whatever else it might be. That might sound depressing at first, but it is the most liberating thing once you put that into practice.
Clubs and Societies aplenty
From art enthusiasts to tech aficionados, there’s a niche for everyone, so this is where clubs and societies come in. My personal exploration led me to a social club, where we shared a similar sense of humour and interests in films as well. Here I began forming lasting connections with some like-minded and kind people. Some clubs that I’ve joined include the Film Society, PINAS@UON, Social Club and LADAS.
Personal growth through volunteering
Volunteering isn’t just about giving back; it’s a hands-on way to build personal growth and connections with like-minded and different individuals. Whether contributing to university events or participating in community outreach, volunteering allows you to align your passions with a clear goal, all while expanding your social circle. If you’re interested in volunteering while studying and getting involved with other students or the wider community, check out Uni Crew
Final thoughts
The main thing is to just put yourself out there. It is much easier said than done, but once you get over that obstacle, it’s rewarding. I was nervous about approaching new people and holding a conversation. But that’s OK, really. We all have to start somewhere. Do connect with different people, while also making or strengthening established relationships with other friends that vibe with you as well. You have nothing to lose.
Written by Jack Lewis